SWDnovel Chapter 59 This old minister must give a good critique of these demonic creatures!
Chapter 59 This old minister must give a good critique of these demonic creatures!
Chapter 59 This old minister must give a good critique of these demonic creatures!
"Even if His Majesty were here today, this old minister would still remonstrate to the death! Guards, take this filthy pot away! Throw it away!"
'
The imperial guards looked at each other, glancing at the retired emperor and then at Wei Zheng, none of them daring to make a move.
Su Mu sighed.
A perfectly good late-night snack is ruined by a buzzing fly.
He stood up without saying a word and casually picked out the largest one from the basin.
With a pinch of two fingers, the shrimp head is removed with a snap.
Push the shrimp's belly with your thumb and the shell will crack.
The plump, firm shrimp meat, soaked in red oil broth, bounced out.
Wei Zheng continued his tirade: "—This is an act that disrupts etiquette and corrupts social morals! This old minister will submit a memorial to the throne tomorrow."
"Huh?!"
Wei Zheng felt a blur before his eyes, and just as he opened his mouth to utter the next word, a warm and soft object was suddenly stuffed into his mouth.
Su Mu withdrew his hand, and even rubbed the oil from his fingertips onto Wei Zheng's purple robe.
"Shut up, stop talking so much nonsense."
Wei Zheng's eyes widened, and he instinctively felt like vomiting.
This is insect meat!
filthy!
Highly poisonous!
But the moment the tongue touched that foreign object, an extremely aggressive spicy flavor took the initiative and instantly took over the entire mouth!
Next comes the aroma of garlic, wine, and an indescribable sweetness.
Wei Zheng froze, his hand that was about to spit out the word.
His teeth snapped shut uncontrollably, cutting through the flesh.
bomb.
Extremely bouncy!
The texture that dances between your teeth doesn't feel like rotten meat at all; on the contrary, it's even more chewy than the finest venison.
As you chew, the broth soaked into the meat fibers bursts open, and the spicy and savory flavor instantly rushes to your head, suppressing all the anxiety you felt while putting out the fire.
Wei Zheng's angry, distorted face slowly froze, then became strange.
hot.
So spicy!
But—it smells fucking good!
"Ugh—glug!"
Wei Zheng's Adam's apple bobbed, and he swallowed the piece of shrimp meat.
A warm current slid down my esophagus into my stomach, and the chill that the autumn wind had blown through my body instantly dissipated.
The courtyard was deathly silent.
Everyone was watching Wei, the outspoken critic, waiting for him to unleash his fury.
Wei Zheng smacked his lips, the lingering taste still swirling on his tongue, making his mouth water uncontrollably.
He glanced at Su Mu, then looked down at the pot of "poisonous insects" that was still steaming.
"this----"
Wei Zheng opened his mouth, his voice somewhat hoarse, "What exactly is this?"
Su Mu sat back down on the stool, opened a bottle of beer, and took a swig: "Spicy crayfish. Want some more?"
Wei Zheng's expression shifted unpredictably.
The dignity of being an advisor and the honesty of one's tongue clashed fiercely at this moment.
In the end, the tongue won!
"This thing—though ugly in appearance, has a certain knack to it in terms of seasoning."
Wei Zheng, with his hands behind his back, tried to salvage the situation, "However, it is still quite unseemly. This old minister needs to—re-examine it."
After saying that, without waiting for Su Mu to call him, he walked to the table, lifted the hem of his expensive purple robe, and squatted down next to Li Yuan.
He stretched out a slightly aged hand, tentatively reaching for the large porcelain plate.
"Snapped!"
Li Yuan slapped the back of his hand.
"What are you doing? Didn't you just say you were going to throw it away? Now you're trying to steal my food?"
Li Yuan was very protective of his food, pulling the plate close to his chest.
At this moment, Wei Zheng disregarded all formalities between ruler and subject, stubbornly insisting, "Your Majesty is mistaken. As a remonstrating official, I have the responsibility to supervise. Now that this item has entered the palace, how can I explain to Your Majesty, or to the world, if I do not personally examine it to see if it is poisonous or harmful?"
As he spoke, he swiftly grabbed two of them and pulled them back while Li Yuan was off guard.
"You old scoundrel! You can even make up such a high-sounding excuse to steal things!" Li Yuan was so angry that he puffed out his beard and glared at Li Yuan.
Wei Zheng ignored him and, imitating Su Mu's earlier actions, clumsily peeled the shrimp shells.
The one Su Mu fed earlier was already peeled, but this time he did it himself, his fingers covered in red oil, and before putting it in his mouth, he had to suck the juice off the shell.
"hiss--!"
Wei Zheng gasped, his face turning bright red from the spiciness, and sweat instantly beaded on his forehead.
"Spicy! This flavor is incredibly strong!"
He kept saying it was spicy, but his hands never stopped.
After peeling one, they would grab the next one.
"But this spiciness with a hint of freshness, and the freshness with a hidden fragrance, is indeed somewhat—somewhat irresistible."
A short while later, a small pile of red shrimp shells appeared on the ground in front of Wei Zheng.
This Wei, who usually had a stern face in court and was so angry he could make Li Shimin cry, was now squatting on the muddy ground in the backyard of the imperial kitchen, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his mouth full of red oil, slurping as he tried to grab food from the retired emperor.
"Grandpa Wei, slow down! You didn't leave any for Xizi!"
Little Sizi panicked. Grandpa Wei had big hands; he could grab a handful at a time, and her chubby little hands couldn't compete with him.
"Princess, please don't be alarmed. I am merely—criticizing it!"
Wei Zheng's eyes welled up with tears from the spiciness, but he still maintained a righteous and awe-inspiring demeanor, grabbing an exceptionally plump one and holding it up to his eyes.
"This creature has a ferocious appearance; it must be malevolent! Let this old minister dissect it and devour it, then give it a thorough critique!"
Click!
The shrimp head was twisted off.
"This yellow...it's so plump! It must have been obtained by plundering the people! He deserves to die!"
Chill!
The shrimp roe went into my mouth.
"This meat—so firm? It must be from all that brute force! Definitely worth eating!"
Fang Qingjun stared in disbelief, forgetting to move the half-eaten shrimp in her hand.
Is this still the same Lord Wei Zheng who gave her father such a headache?
The intensity of this criticism is a bit too much; it's almost emptied the plate with criticism!
"Alright, alright, stop making excuses."
Su Mu pushed a bottle of iced cola over, "Have a sip of this to cool down the spiciness. Don't end up blaming me for murdering a government official if you burn your stomach."
Wei Zheng didn't stand on ceremony. He grabbed the dark bamboo tube, tilted his head back, and took a big gulp.
belch-!
A long, bubbly burp echoed through the backyard.
Wei Zheng squinted comfortably, feeling that the burning sensation that had rushed to his head had been greatly reduced, and his whole body felt refreshed.
"readily!"
He wiped the grease from his mouth, glanced at Su Mu, and his eyes were filled with complex emotions.
"With your skills—it's simply awful to be stuck here as a waiter—"
"What is this?!"
Su Mu gave a half-smile.
"This is truly a great blessing for all living beings!"
Wei Zheng said seriously, "If I were to put you in charge of cooking, the court would probably be fighting over food every day, and that would be complete chaos!"
Li Yuan, listening nearby, burst into laughter: "Wei Heizi, you've finally managed to utter a word about ivory! Come, come, there's still half a pair of pincers left, don't waste it, use it to criticize!"
Several imperial guards stood at the courtyard gate, carrying buckets of water, unsure whether to go in or back.
The aroma wafted straight into my nose, making my stomach rumble.
The leading captain swallowed hard and asked in a low voice, "Sir—should we still put out this fire?"
Wei Zheng didn't even turn his head; he was busy fighting with a shrimp tail.
"What are you trying to put out! Can't you see this is—an inspection of the people's conditions? All of you, step back! Go and guard the door, don't let anyone in and disturb the Emperor Emeritus's enjoyment!"
"----yes."
The Imperial Guards retreated with resentful expressions, closing the rickety door behind them.
Through the crack in the door, the dim light illuminated several figures squatting on the ground.
"Wei Heizi! I've been staring at that big one for ages!"
"Your Majesty, I am old and my eyesight is poor. I took it by mistake, I took it by mistake—"
"Hey! They're stealing the meat from the department!"
"It's okay, there's still some in the pot."
>